Wow! Has it already been a year? So very hard to believe. So very much has happened this past year. It’s hard to even know where to start. But, here it goes.

The weekend we were planning on leaving Cleveland, true to form, we had a pretty good snow storm. It wasn’t so much in Cleveland itself, but the whole route coming and going. So, Lou and I decided to play it safe and wait for the middle of the week to attempt this extraction. The weather was calling for sunny days, although a bit cold. But at least the snow on the roads would have a chance to melt making traveling that much safer.

Lou arrived without incident, and we got ready to leave the next morning. We wanted to wait to leave a little bit later in the morning….allowing the sun to come up and continue its melting. We went downstairs for breakfast, and I was able to say goodbye to the staff I had gotten to know over the last month and a half. We got the car loaded, well Lou did, and we were off. I was in awe of the surroundings. The last time I had driven this route, everything was still green and growing! Now, it was covered in snow. I was expecting it, but it was no less shocking to see. The best part? I got to drive!! I know, I know….big deal. It was to me. I wasn’t allowed to even be able to sit in the front seat for the first 6 weeks, to allow my sternum to heal somewhat. And this was beyond the 6 week time constraint, so I drove!

We finally made it home that night. I was ready to crash. We got the important stuff out of the car and would deal with the rest in the morning after we both got some sleep. We got up the next morning and began the day. I still had to do a lot of resting, still trying to build up stamina and energy levels. But, I’ve been told, and found it’s true….this is a marathon not a sprint.

I had calls to make, and appointments to schedule. I needed to get set up with local cardiac rehab. I didn’t want to loose the momentum I had built up with Cleveland. I also needed to schedule an appointment with my GP. So very much to do. And we were going to be headed back to Cleveland in a week and a half for another biopsy.

I finally got a hold of someone at a local cardiac rehab facility and scheduled an appointment for my intake. This would take place just a couple of days before we would be leaving, so would work out perfectly. I was also able to get in to see my GP before leaving. All moving in the right direction!

Honestly, I was not very impressed with my local cardiac rehab team. I was comparing them to the program at Cleveland, and they were sorely lacking. As I as the “youngster” in the room, they didn’t really pay much attention to me. I wasn’t given set goals, nor was I given any type of agenda. I basically did my own thing. Which, I guess, is ok. I was just disappointed in how apathetic they seemed to be, just because I was “young” and didn’t have a heart attack. Different strokes, I reckon! And all this after waiting almost 2 weeks to get in to my first session!! It had to be approved by “their” cardiologist. Even though Cleveland had sent them extensive notes on what I had been doing with them….both inpatient and outpatient. Oh well, at least I was doing something.

Then I left for Cleveland, got my biopsy and labs done. All looked good. Biopsy report showed 1R, so no new treatment regimen. And once again, homeward bound. The following week I would follow up with my local heart failure doctor. I had been in communication with him. Let him know everything result wise. This would be my first visit with him after transplant.

Talk about crap hitting the fan! I went in to my appointment with Dr Baran. Now, I had been in contact with my pulmonologist and heart failure doctor at Cleveland, as my oxygen sats were once again dropping at night. I was thinking it still had to do with the paralyzed diaphragm. Dr Baran’s post transplant nurse came out to the waiting room and grabbed me. Sat me down in the room and asked lots of questions, updated medical history and drug list. All of this took a good while, as all my medications had changed. Then she took my vitals. Oops, wrong move! I was satting at 88% on room air. She wasn’t happy about that. I told her I had been in contact with both Dr Aboussuan (pulm) and Dr Tang (HF), and that they were still thinking it had to do with my diaphragm and that I was working on the exercises Dr Aboussuan had given me. So, Cleveland was very aware. I also gave her the reports and results from my visit to Cleveland the week before. She turned back to look at me, and said “we’ll see what Dr Baran says when he comes in here.” And she left the room.

A few minutes later, Dr Baran walks in, asks how I’m doing….I tell him, and says I am admitting you. WHAT?!?!?! Ummm, no. I have appointments later today. He says yes you do, with the ER. He brought his nurse back in to the room, and asked her to take me down to the ER and wait there with me until they got me into a room. She was not to leave until that point. (See, Dr Baran knows me way too well! He knew I’d sneak off.)

I was so mad! I didn’t need admitting! I just needed to go home and rest. I remember being admitted into the ER and I remember going into a room having an IV placed and blood drawn. I also remember later that night being taken into the cath lab for an emergency biopsy and right heart cath. I remember Dr Baran coming in to do the procedure and I remember him talking about putting me on ECMO. I quite honestly don’t remember much beyond that. I honestly don’t even know if I was taken to the cath lab from a room, or the ER.

Pretty much the month of March is a big blur to me. I don’t know if what I was seeing and hearing were real, or part of the ICU delirium. What I know came from Lou and a few other people.

I crashed later that night. And I crashed hard! I was placed on ECMO and had a balloon pump inserted. I was in cardiogenic shock, but they could find no definitive answers as to why. I wasn’t in rejection, my right heart cath showed some elevation in pressures, but not horrible. Blood work showed my rejection medication levels were fine, and that I wasn’t in DIC (disseminated intravascular coagulation). Most everything was coming back fine. Still no real answers. So, this all happened on March 2nd. My local team was in constant communication with Cleveland trying to get me stabilized and figured out. By the 4th, one of the local heart failure docs came out to talk with Lou. Basically, he came out to say that they had done everything they could, but they were still loosing me. Cleveland requested for them to get me packaged up and prepare for their team to come get me and transport back to them. Dang it! I missed my second jet ride!! I know it took the locals a while to get me packaged, but finally, the jet was here, I had a team of 5 doctors to transport me, including my transplant surgeon, and off we went.

I know that for the next 2 weeks, I was in an induced coma, still on ECMO and the balloon pump. And I know it was touch and go there for a while. I know Lou had to call my GP and talk to him about switching me to a trach, as they don’t want to leave the endotracheal tube in past 10 days. I know that the nurses would bring me out of the coma to make sure I was still “in there”. Some of this, I have recollection of. But again, I have no idea if real or imagined.

Slowly, very slowly, I started kind of improving. I wasn’t totally out of the woods, but there was a collective sigh of relief. They brought me out of the coma, and left me out. I did still have the trach in, and I still wasn’t doing well, but I was alive. By this time, Lou had gone home. He wasn’t allowed in the ICU, and there was really nothing for him to do except wander the halls and wait to hear word. So, he decided to head back home. Once I was out of the coma, I could facetime with him. I couldn’t talk, but could nod and shake my head. Even that was a chore for me. But, at least we could see each other.

Lou did an awesome job of updating people on his facebook page, and the transplant and hcm pages. He didn’t hold anything back, nor did he sugar coat. He told it like it was. I reckon it scared some people. But there were others that were anxiously awaiting daily updates. I was still in the ICU. I know they had me on heparin, as the ECMO caused blood clots to develop. Problem was, even though I had and was still developing clots, I was bleeding at the same time. Again, nothing really abnormal in my labs. Nobody could figure out what was going on. I remember one time, I threw up a huge blood clot. I was still on IV heparin. And every time I would suction, I was suctioning up fresh blood. Bleeding and clotting at the same time.

Eventually, I was stable enough to get transferred to the transplant floor. I was so shocked at how weak I was. My legs and arms looked like toothpicks. I had lost all of my muscle mass. Just before I got moved, the ICU staff wanted to switch me to a drug called Eliquis and get me off the IV heparin. I was taking oral medications and doing fairly well with it, so we switched. I got up to the 8th floor, and got to see all my nursing friends. I was happy about that!

Then, we got more good news! Cleveland had opened up the transplant floor for one visitor. I called Lou and told him. He made plans to head up for that coming weekend (Easter weekend). We were both very excited. We hadn’t seen each other in over a month. And a scary month it had been!

Lou got up there and I was able to introduce him to some of my favorite nurses. As it was the weekend, it was fairly quiet, so we got to spend a lot of time together. Lou was shocked to see my legs! He couldn’t believe how much they had atrophied in a months time. I had already started working with both occupational and physical therapy, so I was starting to try and get some musculature back. Boy, was it tough!! I was also trying to do some massage therapy on my legs and feet. I had developed some peripheral neuropathy after the transplant that had gotten some better, but this crash and my month long ICU stay made it worse.

That Monday, Lou was getting ready to head home, and he volunteered to rub my legs for me before he took off. Oh, did it ever feel good! On my left leg. Then he got to my right leg. He got to one part and OUCH! that hurt! I felt the area, and noticed a couple of bumps. My nurse walks in about that time with my drugs and I tell her about it. She looks and feels, and she does see the bumps. She noted it in my chart. Said we would keep an eye on it and to let her know if it got any worse. Lou then got ready to leave. It had been nice having him there!

Later that night, the oncoming nurse asked about my pain. It was still there, it still hurt, but hadn’t changed much. The next day, I said something to Emily, the NP covering the floor. She suggested trying some ice. I also asked if I could try some capsaicin to see if that would help. She got that ordered and also ordered an xray. When PT came in a bit later, I noticed my toes were now starting to drag when I walked. And my leg was really starting to hurt more. Xray results came back….no breaks.

Wednesday, and pain only increasing. Nothing was touching it. I now had 4 lumps where it was painful. So, they did another ultrasound to check for more clots. Nothing new on my right leg, but they did discover some new clots in my left leg in addition to what was already there and a couple of other fun features. One was a pseudoaneurysm in my left groin and the other was an AV fistula. Both caused by the ECMO cannulation. Nothing really concerning at this point.

Thursday, Emily came in and said everything was in place for me to be moved to Avon Acute Rehab facility. They weren’t concerned with my leg thinking it just muscle soreness since I had been up and trying to walk. So, that evening, I got to take an ambulance ride to Avon. As I got settled in to my new room, the nurse and I went over some of my medical history. And I told her about my leg pain. She, too, was able to feel and see the 4 bumps on my leg. She checked pedal pulses, all good. Then I got settled in for the evening and night. The next day, I began my rehab.

I honestly wasn’t able to do much between the pain and also not knowing why I had the pain. Plus, my toes were really dragging by this point. The doctor that had come in that morning was not the caring type….guess a good way to put it. He came in and slapped on my lower right leg. I flew out of bed! Oh, it hurt so bad! But again, nothing extra was done. So, I spent my Friday doing a little bit of rehab, but pretty much staying in my room.

Saturday, and the oncall doc came in to do her rounds. We talked about a few things and she asked if there were anything else concerning me. I told her about my leg. She told me she would look at the imaging that had already been done and see if there was something else she could do. A couple of hours later, my nurse came in and told me that I was going over to the Avon Hospital for a CT scan of my lower legs. About 1/2 hour later, the ambulance crew shows up and takes me over there. The CT only took a few minutes, then I was heading back to the rehab facility. By the time I had gotten settled back into bed, I got notification of new test results. I opened it up, and sure enough, me CT results had come back. The more I read, the paler I became. My nurse was still in the room, and I asked her to read and confirm what I was seeing. Yup, I had an active bleed into my right calf. Compartment syndrome! Oh gosh! I knew what that meant! I knew that Avon couldn’t handle this type of complication, so I asked if I was going back to main campus. I was, just didn’t know when.

Neither one of us heard anything more that night. The next day, Saturday, my nurse comes in. And I tell her to look at my foot. My foot has now turned purple. She leaves the room to call the doc (different than the day before) and to find out when I was to be transferred. I pretty much stayed where I was until about 4 that afternoon. By the time I got back to the main campus, it was late and I had no idea what the next steps would be. I was on the phone with Lou when vascular medicine walked in. He asked a few questions, then pulled no punches. He told us both, that had this been taken care of Monday, all would have been fine. As it was now, he wouldn’t know until he got in there whether or not my leg could even be saved. And he said, if they could save my leg, chances are, I would very likely be permanently handicapped. I was flipping out and crying, Lou was asking if he should head up. The doctor said yes, head up now.

I was then taken into the OR for an emergency fasciotomy, not knowing if I would wake up with a leg or a missing lower leg…..